Letting you go...

This week has been extremely revealing for me in so many ways. There are things that have arrived at a place of realization and it is time for me to emancipate them. I think I'm finally letting him go. The yearning, the anticipation, the hope is gone. For some odd reason earlier this month I had a restless night like I hadn't in so long. All i could think of was of how I felt when he cheated. How i felt about myself. How i still feel about it. I have never felt so raw ever. So present in a moment, quite honestly, suspended in time. Sometimes I wonder if I tell myself that i really never saw it coming because deep down inside everything was a little too good to be true. 

Now, I feel different. A little surer of what i want, a little more open but at the same so very vulnerable. Our connection was so strong, so intimate. Will it ever happen again is my biggest fear now. People come in and out of our lives and some leave an indelible mark. Will i ever see them again? Who knows. Now I want a chance to discover, to try new things but most importantly someone to share them with. 

I'm letting you go today. 

I'm turning the page. 

But be certain that you will forever have an important place in my heart, my mind and my life. Should we meet again, everything will be as it always was. I do love you and still will.